It’s been a year now, but it probably happened months ago. As I struggle out of bed each morning, I get the day of the week from my pill box. Not my phone, not my computer, but my little yellow pill box. Hmmm, I had hoped it would have taken my longer to get to this point. Nevertheless, I guess I’m still winning this survival game to have made it so far. (Nervous laughter.)
I still can’t get over the feeling that time is running out. Of course, that’s probably because it’s true. There’s only a finite amount of time left in my sojourn on Earth and I have no idea just how much of it is left. I suspect that most people just ignore this and carry on, but I just keep having these feelings that I need to try new stuff before I run out of time.
Even though I believe that there is more than this life and that God has a purpose for all of this, I still want new experiences in the here and now. Is that bad? I’d like to think that this is all preparation for whatever role I may have in the next life. But I have no proof of that, and it seems likely that’s it’s all my own depraved thrill seeking.
Oh well, none of that changes the fact that the sands in my hour glass are running out. I don’t think my faith has been shaken, I just want to understand all of these feelings better.