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A COVID-19 Dream of Loneliness

I’m off work today observing the July 4th holiday in the US, so I was able to sleep in a lot longer than usual which I think allowed for a particularly livid dream. In my dream, I had just arrived at a large building, grey with tall columns like a church or temple. I had been running away from some kind of altercation in a parade I was in or passing through earlier. My youngest son was a short distance behind me.

In front of the church, parked in a line of cars was a long black one that looked like a Cadillac hearse. The license plate on the back of it said “Bears Fan”. So I figured a funeral was taking place. I crossed to the church from there and was able to see inside the side of the building. Inside I saw a Black woman bathed in spotlights and dressed in a silky gold jumper and wide brimmed flat topped hat. She was dancing. I could not hear if perhaps she was singing as well.

Nearby, I saw a figure also a Black person and similarly dressed in gold sitting in a high backed chair silently and unmoving, as if watching the performance. I immediately thought that this was the deceased person. At that thought, I was overcome with grief and sadness for someone I had never known who had died all alone.

It was too much. I ran from there wailing loudly and overflowing with tears. The last thing I remember was being in a nearby building crying with my sons around me.

So many people are dying alone during this pandemic.

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General

My Goodness, my privilege

This is the first blogging I’ve done in a while, and my first posting during the current global COVID-19 pandemic. It has been a time when I have witnessed just how incredible many of the people I know and love really are.

As for me, I must acknowledge my own incredible privilege. Just as the US was entering quarantine, state by state, I was starting a new job. A new job that as of now I’ve been working from home almost four weeks.

It took me many months to find new work. I had to draw down my savings to keep afloat. I had one interesting freelance project in that time, but still the prospects were not looking great. Then almost out of nowhere, I heard about an opening at a company that was actually doing something I could care about.

So my cup is overflowing and I must acknowledge that, and that my own efforts have played only a small part in it. So I thank the God who made me and placed around me so many people who love me. I will do my best to pass my blessings on to others and share my love with them as well. That’s really the only thing I can do for a debt far too big for me to ever pay back.