Tag: depression

Walk of No Joy

Post author By blueZhift
Post date November 6, 2020

My walk was necessary, but gave me no joy. I could see a beautiful day, but did not feel it. It was good to get outside, and long walks have been something I have enjoyed for many years. But in this Pandemic world, the mask on my face only reminds me that all is not well.

I suppose I should be used to it by now, but I’m not. I stay inside, work and game to distraction. Temptation to throw all caution to the wind. But I am too disciplined for that. I will not abandon reason. Now is not the time.

I will walk again. Perhaps I can recapture the joy.

Tags depression, joy, pandemic

General

Raining In My Soul

Post author By blueZhift
Post date June 10, 2020

I’m feeling a lot of rain and sorrow right now. It’s raining outside, making a mockery of work I did earlier draining the pond. An overworked spouse, hateful white men mocking George Floyd’s death, and storms have forced me to take a step back, away from this day. An artist on Reddit has captured my feelings today.

Tags Black Lives Matter, depression, sorrow

General

She Won’t Be Home For Christmas

Post author By blueZhift
Post date December 4, 2012

Every parent knows it’s going to happen someday. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less of course. When I heard that my eldest daughter had decided to spend Christmas away from home, all of the air just went out of my balloons. I’m still feeling deflated, but I guess it’s just an unavoidable part of letting go. We’ve spent nearly two decades preparing her for this, so I guess we should be proud in a way. Still, the Christmas lights will be a little dimmer this year.

Tags Christmas, depression, parenting, Xmas

General

The Unavoidable

Post author By blueZhift
Post date March 16, 2011

Sometimes I think that maybe if I’d been a little more valuable, I wouldn’t have been laid off. But then I think, yeah, that’s probably true. T_T

Tags depression, feels bad man, unemployment

General

Tsunami of Depression

Post author By blueZhift
Post date May 29, 2009

Yesterday was kinda tough. I’m not sure where the quake occurred, but the wave of depression that hit yesterday was nearly irresistable. Maybe it was a mix of things, bad weather, flu virus, and a collection of frustrations and recent disappointments.

I was proud to get through work, progress made, no meetings missed. But it was hard, and looking back, I probably should have gone home. Today is better, but sadly I can only whisper into the knothole of this digital tree.

Tags depression, emotion, rant, whine