I’m feeling a lot of rain and sorrow right now. It’s raining outside, making a mockery of work I did earlier draining the pond. An overworked spouse, hateful white men mocking George Floyd’s death, and storms have forced me to take a step back, away from this day. An artist on Reddit has captured my feelings today.
Every parent knows it’s going to happen someday. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less of course. When I heard that my eldest daughter had decided to spend Christmas away from home, all of the air just went out of my balloons. I’m still feeling deflated, but I guess it’s just an unavoidable part of letting go. We’ve spent nearly two decades preparing her for this, so I guess we should be proud in a way. Still, the Christmas lights will be a little dimmer this year.
Yesterday was kinda tough. I’m not sure where the quake occurred, but the wave of depression that hit yesterday was nearly irresistable. Maybe it was a mix of things, bad weather, flu virus, and a collection of frustrations and recent disappointments.
I was proud to get through work, progress made, no meetings missed. But it was hard, and looking back, I probably should have gone home. Today is better, but sadly I can only whisper into the knothole of this digital tree.